The Other Side

You knew this post was coming, didn’t you?

The K word.

Kindergarten.

As in: MY BABY STARTED KINDERGARTEN.

And around here, Kindergarten is no joke. Full day, every day. Which means my three kiddos depart at 9am and don’t get home until 4:15pm.

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And I never ever, in a million, kajillion years thought I’d say these two words:

I’m ready.

Let me backtrack so you understand why this is such a shock. (If you read my post It’s My Time, that’ll help too).

When my oldest started kindergarten, I couldn’t even utter the K word. I’m not kidding. If someone just mentioned it, I broke into tears. I cried myself to sleep pretty much the entire month of August that year. You can ask my husband. He’d hear sniffles coming from my side of the bed and say, “Kindergarten again?” True story.

With my second, I cried a bit too. Wasn’t nearly as painful, but I wasn’t a happy camper by any means.

Just the mere thought of our third starting the following year made me throw up a little in my mouth. (Ok, that’s a slight exaggeration, but you get it). I used to say there was NO WAY ON GOD’S GREEN EARTH I WOULD SURVIVE. Someone’s gonna have to sedate me, or something. Not. Gonna. Make. It.

I bawled my FREAKING EYES OUT saying goodbye to our preschool back in May, and the wonderful teachers that loved on my babies so very much. It was a very tearful month. I honestly couldn’t imagine what shape I’d be in come September.

But something happened over the summer.

Somehow, some way, I became ready for this chapter.

I call it a miracle.

For the first time, the thought of the empty nest wasn’t heartbreaking, it was…dare I say, exciting?!

For eight years I spent my days filling sippy cups, changing diapers, wiping noses, kissing boo-boos. And while I wouldn’t have traded it for anything in the entire universe, and thank God every day that I got to do it…it’s a whole new world now.

I have no idea where it’s taking me, but I’m excited to find out. To rediscover myself again.

Maybe I’ll join a gym? Try yoga? (I mean, I’ve worn the pants for years, might as well give it a go, am I right?). Build up this blog and crank out projects for you wonderful people who stop in and give me a little time out of your day. (I love you, truly. I do). Who knows?

I have to say, I wasn’t exactly sure what words would enter my head and my fingers would type when I sat down in front of my laptop. But mostly I knew I wanted to write it for:

The tired moms. You’ve been up all night with a teething baby, or a sick toddler who threw up all over his sheets and needed all new linens at the lovely hour of 3am. Perhaps both. You cried pouring your coffee out of sheer exhaustion, as you put your baby in the highchair and threw some puffs on the tray just to get a second to pee. Your 3 year old is smudging the playdough into the carpet, and you’re counting down the minutes until naptime…and it’s 7:24 am. Oh, glorious naptime. Was often the best part of the day. I have been there. Oh, how I’ve been there.

The weepy-about-school-starting moms. I know. BELIEVE YOU ME, I know. There is nothing that could make me weep harder than the image of them hopping on that big school bus with the bookbag that weighs more than they do, waving out the window…that little hand and innocent smile on their face. I long for the days when we’d snuggle up for a bottle together, and our days consisted of trips to the playground and picnic lunches. It’s funny how this is when Mommy Amnesia kicks in about the days I discussed in the previous paragraph. The thought of letting them go is anything but easy. I know that heartache too well.

I wrote this post for you. From a mom who’s made it to The Other Side. I had three kids – the oldest still being 2 when #3 was born. I know tired. I know weepy. I know them both a little too well. And didn’t think I’d survive either.

But I did.

And you will, too.

It’s now Day 2 of walking into a quiet house, with an unknown future before me.

It’s weird…

but a really good weird.

And the best part of my day?

Now happens at 4:15.

 

 

Comments

  1. Beautifully said!

  2. Shelly Keller says:

    That is exactly how I’m feeling! I, too, have three kids (9, 7, 5) and thought this day would NEVER come and didn’t look to it with excitement. I, too, bawled my eyes out in May at our preschool but have yet to shed a tear this fall….I thought maybe I was alone in feeling this way. Good to know I’m not πŸ™‚

    The thing I do feel worst about and just might cry about is how short-tempered I have found myself in the afternoons with them. I miss them terribly. I look forward to the minute they step off the bus. An hour after they’re home I’m ready to PULL MY HAIR OUT! I just don’t get it.

    I must work on my perspective once again and realize that every minute I have with them is a gift from God; I shall not take any for granted.

    Thanks for sharing your heart and life with us. Sometimes I read your posts and think that you are a long lost sister of mine πŸ˜‰

    • What a beautiful thing to say! Thank you, Shelly:) Made my night.
      I hear ya – sometimes I’m in the same boat an hour after they’re home too. You’re not alone! But we are very blessed, aren’t we? Sometimes it’s hard when you’re in the thick of homework, preparing dinner, hungry, tired kiddos, etc to see that;)
      Thanks again for your kind words!

  3. Thanks so much for sharing this Kindergarten saga online, I too am in the same mommy boat, my 3rd and youngest started school kindergarten this week and I feel way more lost than he does. But I am looking forward to “finding myself” in my time “off”, and your decorating posts inspire me so keep em coming!

  4. Marietjie Dixon says:

    Ah man, a mommy’s heart and her kiddies… I cannot get over their long day, here in SA my daughter started grade 1 this year, but she finishes at 1 and then sport till 2, so we still have our afternoon together that I can, now that I only work till 1 πŸ™‚ (what a blessing), can enjoy with her. My son is in grade 4 and at school till 2 and then sport after that… so a day till 4:15 wowee seems so long, but I must say they start school at 7:45… loved your blog entry, always so encouraging to read your thoughts <3 enjoy your new season!

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