The Dream That Woke Me Up (In More Ways Than One)

A few nights ago, I had a dream. At first, I thought it was a nightmare, but now I don’t think I’d necessarily call it that.

I remember every detail of this dream, which is rare for me. A lot of times I think I do, and then I tell my husband, “I had THE craziest dream last night!” And I start to tell him about it…and it all goes fuzzy and I end up not making an ounce of sense.

But not this one.

I remember I had an amazing weekend with my favorite people. My family, my friends…everyone I love was around me. We went dancing, we didn’t care who was watching, we ate and drank and just enjoyed every second. I remember in my dream, thinking, “life is just so good.” I remember feeling so much joy.

And then, in my dream, I went to bed, practically still smiling as I drifted off. I woke up the next day and out of the clear blue sky, I went to rub my eyes and my eyelashes came out in clumps. Two swipes and every last one was gone. I thought to myself, “What the heck is happening??”

I walked into my bathroom, looked at my eyelash-less self and touched my hair. It was the same. Poof.

Gone in one fell swoop.

My family was there. My mom walked in and her face as she tried to say the right thing and remain calm is one I can still see, plain as day. I hope to God I never actually see that look.

I went to the doctor and they told me I had a short time to live.

(I know, totally bringing you down, but keep reading…)

Let me tell you how my dream ended.

I remember feeling so many feels, as you can imagine getting news like that.  But the thing that stuck out most when I finally woke up was how glad I was that I had been so…happy. That I felt so much joy right until that morning when I woke up and my world was changed forever. That I didn’t waste my last days worrying about the future and going through the motions. Because, really, what good would that have done? I remember vividly in that dream, that I didn’t feel even an ounce of regret.

And this is why I don’t call it a nightmare. Sure, it was horrifying and I can’t tell you HOW glad I was to wake up, but I felt like it was such a wonderful reminder. What if I had just spent those days leading up to that life changing news in fear and holding back?

We can’t worry about tomorrow. Because that won’t do a thing but make today far less than it can be. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring, so we have to live. Smile. Laugh. Eat. Drink. Dance. Tell people you love them. Snuggle your kids. Call your parents. Only God knows how much time we have, so live it up. 

I’m just so thankful I had this dream to remind me of this, and it didn’t take reality to teach me. Which is why I felt compelled to share it with you.

I am learning this more and more with every day. Living with CVID has taught me that honestly, I don’t know what I’ll wake up with tomorrow. Now, will I wake up and all my eyelashes and hair fall out? Probably not, but it’s representative for whatever life hands you.

It’s scary living with a disease, but it’s also teaching me that if today is good, then I’m going to celebrate it.

This dream of mine was a reminder that we’ve only got one life.

So let’s live it.

Dream

 

Comments

  1. God has been showing me this message more and more lately in my own life, and your post has just reiterated His teaching. Great timing! Thank you for being so open and for putting such an important reminder out there 🙂

    • Thank you so much, Nicole! I hear you – I feel like the older we get, the more we see how short and precious life is, and God’s goodness in every day. Hope you have a lovely one:)