A Health Update After a Scary Month…

Hello friends.

And I do mean that:) I feel like I’ve gotten to know so many of you through this blog – when I sit down at this laptop and start typing, I always feel like I’m about to talk to old friends. It never feels like an obligation, or anything other than sitting down to talk to people who have always been so kind and supportive…you know, friends.

Which is why I feel it’s only natural to keep you in the loop with some stuff that’s been going on. You’ve been with me through my CVID diagnosis – and the wild and bumpy ride that has been my health – for a few years now, and January was no exception. That’s the scary thing about this disease – you never really do know what’s around the corner. Which, honestly, has a little bit of good to it – it really does make you so so grateful for the times when life is calm, and nothing major is going on. The times when you almost forget you even have this disease.

health update

New Year’s Eve treatment. With my lifeline…and one day before I contacted my doc about my lump.

I have been saying for years now, that I believe so wholeheartedly – in every ounce of my being – that God placed this blog in my hands to do things much greater than post about decorating and crafts. And is always SO clear when I talk about my health. The crazy *coincidental* timing of these posts – well, I know they aren’t coincidental at all. The people I’ve connected with because of this blog who also have CVID, or other health issues, but still find the world less alone by hearing someone else’s story – it’s the beautiful thing about this connected world. I’m telling you- I can feel God working in my life so very much when I sit down at this keyboard.

But you see, those I’ve talked with about CVID…we all have similarities of course, but the thing about this particular disease is how it can take you in so many directions. One might have this, one might have that, one might have another thing altogether. You learn that no two people with CVID are exactly the same. But one thing we have in common is being at risk for certain cancers.

One of those being lymphoma.

And I’ve had a large lymph node on my neck that had been causing me some concern. Especially since I am more at risk for lymphoma. (And when you google lymphoma, by the way, you immediately see a woman with a lump on her neck that looked EXACTLY like mine).

Lesson here, folks: DO NOT EVER BE DR. GOOGLE. LIKE, EVER.

That, on top of the fact that my doctor wanted it biopsied…well, it made for a scary January.

People were telling me not to worry, it’s probably nothing. And I wanted to feel that way – more than anything. But when you’ve been dealing with weird health stuff for so long, one of them being an immune deficiency that makes you more at risk for lymphoma and you have an enlarged lymph node…it was pretty hard not to freak out. But I tried my hardest.

It was really hard. There were so many moments where I’d look at my children and need to hide in the bathroom and cry because I’d let my mind go there.

I was mentally preparing myself for the worst. I got incredibly close with God. I talked to Him more than I ever have. Over and over and over…and over again. When my anxiety would hit the roof, I prayed that God would grant me peace and comfort. I prayed for strength to fight whatever was about to happen. That whatever His plan was, that we don’t lose faith in Him. Because of course, bad things – really bad things – happen every day. God didn’t promise us an easy life, but He did promise us He’d walk with us every step of the way. And if things got ugly and our faith was tested, I wanted us to only grow stronger in it. Not waver, not give up. No matter what. I prayed that so. many. times.

During the last week, after my biopsy and before the results, when I was at my most scared, I felt God stronger than ever before in my life. The gospel and homily at church was more timely than you could possibly imagine and I cried from beginning to end of that hour – I kid you not. I was the crazy lady IN THE FRONT ROW, mind you, who could not keep it together. Did I mention the communion hymn was Be Not Afraid?? YES. I mean, REALLY. I just lost it. There were too many emotions to explain, but mostly, the tears were there because I felt God so strongly there with me. You ever have those moments when you can just feel Him working? It’s the most amazing thing, isn’t it? Leaving that church, my husband looked at me and felt it too. I decided I was at peace with whatever news I was about to receive that week. We were going to be ok, whatever happened.

Then the call came on Thursday. Six days after the biopsy. It was all ok. I was ok. I WAS OK. It’s probably just some freak result of an infection that hasn’t gone away, and we just need to monitor it, make sure it doesn’t get bigger, but it’s going to be ok.

Cue the tears. (Shocking, right?)

I can’t say it was a good month. But I can say it was a life-changing one. I shared this post on Instagram on Saturday morning:

CVID: health update

“The hubs and I had a long overdue Date Night last night.  It was a really, really good one. The kids spent the night at their favorite place (their grandparents’ house), we went out to dinner, and just like in our early dating days, grabbed a pint of Ben and Jerry’s on the way home for a late night snack. 😉 Curled up and watched a movie and it was truly, truly glorious.

January was a very scary month with health issues. But we received news that my biopsy showed nothing to be concerned about, thank you God. Paul is still asleep, and the kids are still at my parents’, and the sun is finally out – FINALLY – and just the beauty of this bowl of fruit and cards for my kids overwhelms me with gratitude. I’ve been making this man a bowl of fruit every Saturday and Sunday for the past 13+ years. And every single time he is so appreciative. This scary month has really showed me how these little things – like bowls of fruit and love letters taped to your kids’ doors – these little things are what it’s all about. I noticed so much this past month – things and moments that typically have passed me by – and that has been a gift through it all.

Love your people, do the little things, and realize how crazy precious life is. Have a beautiful, blessed weekend, friends.”

And holy cow is it true. The things…the moments…just stuff like my son climbing in my bed at night and wanting me to scratch his back while I read my book. Packing lunches for my family. My daughter asking to help with dinner and teaching her how to cut up the potatoes the same size so they cook evenly. All five of us piled on the couch watching Wheel of Fortune together. These are the everyday things that I never took time to appreciate before. They were just motions. Now, they’ve morphed from the ordinary to the extraordinary, and have been magnified. By like a million. So much so that it’s all I see.  And it’s breathtakingly beautiful to see it from this angle.

So that’s what’s been going on over here. I know it’s been quiet on the blog, but I just haven’t had much decorating on the brain. From the bottom-est bottom of my heart, I thank you for your prayers. I felt them, I really did.

And to my fellow CVID Zebra friends on this lifelong rollercoaster ride, I hope you’re experiencing one of the less exciting times at the moment. If you’re not, I hope you feel my prayers. You are never alone.

 

 

 

Comments

  1. You are an amazing woman and an inspiration in so many ways thank you for sharing

  2. Julie Coleman says:

    I don’t comment very often but I am a big fan of your posts! I am a fellow believer and have also been struggling with a very long illness. I’m so glad your biopsy results were good news. And so glad you are sharing the struggle with your fans–especially how having the Lord in your life makes all the difference. I can’t find any contact information on your site, but I’d love to send you a book I wrote a couple of years ago on Jesus and his conversations with women in the gospels (titled Unexpected Love) as a thank you for the encouragement you give me on a regular basis! You can contact me through my email or on my website unexpectedgod.com and I’ll send it along. Thanks so much for your transparent, encouraging blog and more for your purposeful faith. You are the best!

  3. What Wonderful news!! Sending you continued healing, peace and joy.

  4. Liz,
    So glad to hear that you received good news! Thank you for continuing to share your testimony here. Your blog has played a BIG part in my own walk with God over the years. One blog post can make such an impact on someone’s heart so keep on, keepin’ on my friend! :)

  5. I don’t usually comment, but I didn’t see Instagram and I have been following closely! So relieved for you and your family. Your blog is such an inspiration both for my decorating and for my faith that it will all be ok! So happy for you!!

  6. So glad for your positive outcome. Always enjoy your posts! Praise God for answered prayers and mostly for his never “leaving or forsaking ” us.

  7. Kevin Bibeault says:

    Special thoughts and prayers to you Liz. I am glad it was finally resolved as not what you had feared.

  8. Anne Lepczyk says:

    OH my gosh Liz!!! I am soooo glad all is well! I had no idea this was going on this past month
    My mom didn’t share all this with me. You are an amazing woman as so many have of your followers have said! Love ya so much!
    God Bless You!

  9. Kelly Johnson says:

    Wow, just wow, this was really powerful to read. I cant stop crying because it really is the little things in life that matter the most. You can think that you have it all and it can be taken away in the blink of an eye. We must make each day matter and always walk with God. I am sending {{hugs}} and prayers your way.

  10. Cindy Johnson says:

    Liz, you are AMAZING!! An angel was definitely looking out for you. God be with you! Love you!!💜

  11. Absolutely beautiful words. I’m so glad your diagnosis was good, and what a wonderful reminder for us all to treasure the small everyday joys we all are blessed with! I needed to read this today. Thank you for sharing ALL Aparts of your life with us. I’ve been a longtime reader and always appreciate your candor; it’s so refreshing in blogland

  12. Heather Lloyd says:

    It’s wonderful that you’re willing to share. I really appreciate your positive outlook. It helps me gear back up to fight my battles, although they are different from yours.

    • Thank you, Heather, this really means so much. I hope whatever battle you’re facing, you always find the strength inside you – it’s there! Hugs.

  13. Sherri S. says:

    Praising God!!! So thrilled for these results. I know just what you have described. Last year I had a lump on my neck for about two years. I figured it was a lymph node from a cold or old infection. But after it being there so long, and I was going to a new primary care doctor, I thought I would mention it. To my surprise, my doctor said that it was not a lymph node at all and definitely not normal. I had some scans and was diagnosed with tumors on both my perotid glands(saliva glands). I Was shocked to find out tumors were on both sides, since only one was visible. I was sent for a biopsy on both sides. I too grew closer to my God, and Savior. I clung to him as what ifs swirled in my head. After a week, the results came back non cancerous tumors. I had to have two separate surgeries to have the entire glands removed. God is so faithful. I understand your relief 💜 thanks for sharing.

    Blessings Friend…
    Sherri

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