Today Will Become a Memory

Oh those Facebook memories. Those “On This Day” memories that pop up in my feed. Do they get you, too? I mean, I love them, but man. They tug at the ol’ heartstrings. I look at those tiny babies from 3, 4, 5 years ago. Those sweet memories. And I usually tear up bawl like a baby. I find myself longing for the simpler days when it was the four of us against the world until Daddy would swoop in and save the day at 6 o’clock. We had a good time. And I forget so much of it. So when those glimpses in the past appear, it’s always bittersweet. What I wouldn’t give to just have a day of that back. To hold my babies and feel them fall asleep on me one more time. To hear that belly laugh that only a six month old can make. My kids are getting to be BIG kids. My baby’s almost seven and the oldest is hitting double digits in a few months.  And there’s SO much good to that – and we are blessed beyond measure with the three of them. I don’t take that for granted EVER. But oh, when I see what we were up to years ago on this day…life looked so different.

But I had a realization two nights ago.

One day, I’ll wish for this day – this very day – with my kids at these ages.

Two nights ago, I went up to read in bed, and I always go in and give the kids a kiss on my way. Usually they’re asleep. But this time my son was still awake and asked if he could come lie in bed while I read because he was having sad-mares (this is what he calls nightmares that are sad, not scary. And it’s adorable). He was gripping his beloved Giraffee and I saw this baby face in him that grows further away by the minute. And I said yes.

He hopped in my bed and I snuggled up next to him and instead of reaching for my book, I started talking to him.

He said, “Mommy, you can read your book.”

 ‘I’d rather talk with you.’

Because it hit me.

One day, I’ll be coming up to bed and not one of those three bedrooms will be lit by the soft glow of a nightlight. No one will be having sad-mares and needing their mommy to help them fall asleep.

They’ll be out driving with their friends (save me, Lord), coming in at all hours of the night, or maybe off at college.

And Facebook will show me what was happening “On This Day” years ago. My heartstrings will be tugged again and I’ll long for a day with them at these ages, just as I long for them now as teeny tiny ones.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m realizing how important it is to appreciate ALL the ages. Because one day, THIS DAY WE’RE LIVING RIGHT NOW, will be that memory. My husband and I will see these faces – the ones that look ‘so old’ to us right now and someday we’ll remember them as being ‘so little.’

So I’ll hold onto these moments while my son still hugs that giraffe and wants to feel safe in my bed. And those times when my almost ten year old daughter needs my arms wrapped around her on the couch. And realize that this is good stuff too. Just as good as that belly laugh at 6 months old. Just different good.

And I’ll know that at that very moment in time, I grabbed onto what will someday be a memory. I grabbed on with both arms, and wrapped them around as tightly as I could.